Amanda: Why am I afraid of people?

Umi: Because you are afraid of yourself. Only when you love yourself can you love others. If you hate yourself, you will hate others, and be afraid of others. Any relationship that you have with another, the other is a mirror. Whenever you have a relationship, the experience has already happened before. The relationship is simply a magnifying of the past. You are attracted to that which you already know. You have been programmed as a child, and the program manifests in all that you like, want, hate, avoid, are afraid of and long for, and this is the totality of your personality.

In the West most have been conditioned to hate themselves. You have been programmed to believe that you are a sinner, that you have original sin. Many a guilt trip has been given to you. And you have accumulated all these negativities, until you feel like you are unworthy of being. And once you have been well programmed to hate yourself then you are told, "Love others." Now this is impossible. This is impossible because you are the nearest. If you do not love yourself, it is impossible to love others. But to compensate, and support your belief that you must love others, your love then is simply hatred masked as love.

The work here is for you to first love yourself. Once love has happened in you it will spread to others naturally. Remember you are a human being, and all the other people in the world are also human beings. They have different forms and have different conditionings, but underneath this, they are like you.

For love to spread from you around the world, the love has to start inside you. Loving yourself first, is planting the seed. Staying with loving yourself, is watering the seed. Start with your own heart. Feel your heart. Love is a flower from the heart. There is a sensation that emerges from the heart, a vibration, a flowing, fall into this, allow this. First there has to be a melting of the heart. You have been conditioned for the heart to be frozen, to condemn yourself. You have been told you are not good looking enough, that your behavior is not good enough, that you need to try harder, and that fundamentally you are of little worth, and you need to try hard to become good enough. These are all lies. These are all lies created by others who are suffering, and who also believe that they are not worthy. See that these are only the actions from the suffering ones. So begin by having a deep acceptance of yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. This is the beginning. And with this acceptance be delighted in "I am!" In the glory of here. In the joy of now. Ask for nothing else, simply see and delight in THIS. And see that THIS is always here and now. And see who is experiencing this joy. Ah! it is I. Ah! it is this glorious self. How cannot I love? How cannot I love myself. Wow! And in this awareness, in this opening of love, feel the inner change, feel the growth from this inner change, and feel the world all around you changing, and see how your fear of others has evaporated, and a deep peace has spread through you.

Love
Umi