Suzi:  Oh Umi please tell me that the last message you posted about purpose has a definite answer.  I mean, the reason why I, probably like everyone else, begin this spiritual journey is because we think and feel that we exist, but that's only while we have a body.  That's why I am wanting to know before my body dies if there is anything after my body dies.  Is this really the only life I have while I have a body dear Umi?  I feel so saddened to think that I only exist for a short period of time then I go back into this void where I am not.

Umi: Your real question is not \"What happens after death?\"  but \"What is happening in this living moment?\"  You can spend your whole life concerned about the purpose of life, about after death and a thousand and one other questions, and in this concern, you miss this life.  It is as if you are with a lover and this lover, loves you so much, and there is only heart and devotion for you, but you are continually worried as to what will happen to you if he leaves. The very thought, destroys your opportunity for the beautiful moments with your lover.  The very thought creates tension in you, and in this tension you cannot be sensitive to the orgasmic gifts that envelope you. 

You say, \"I mean, the reason why I, probably like everyone else, begins this spiritual journey is because we think and feel that we exist...\"  No, its because you are not sure that you exist.  You feel incomplete.  You feel unfulfilled.  You begin the spiritual journey because you want to be complete, fulfilled and whole.  You are aware that something is missing and so begins the journey.  But you are looking in the wrong direction, and you are looking for some THING.  But what you are looking for is you.  But just as the eye cannot see itself, the act of seeing yourself with the mind is impossible.  But looking in will dissolve the outer.  Looking in will relax the urge to have, to be, to want, to be afraid of, to....Simply by looking in.

But if you are still concerned about what will happen to you after death, then find out who you were before you were conceived.  There is a beautiful Zen question, \"What was your original face?\"

Love
Umi