Davi:  Your e-mails are a very special gift and I am most grateful for them. I have been a \"seeker\" for many years and now I must become a \"finder\".

Umi: You cannot become a finder, because there is nothing to find.  In going in and letting go of all conceptsthere, all is already here.

Davi:  I see that my personal obstacles to development are a fear of surrender and a surprising reluctance to make the commitment of being in the presence of an Awaken One and doing the work.

Umi: Have you ever been in the presence of an Awaken One?  Simply sat there in front of an Awaken One?  What is the fantasy that you have?  Remember fear comes from a negative fantasy, a mental creation, an imaging. Being in the presence of an Awaken One is harmless, because nothing will change in you, unless you allow it.  The Awaken One is not aggressive, but full of love.

Davi:  I feel that I am trapped within my ego and I have only an intellectual understanding of what is needed to be free.

Umi: The intellect can never understand what is needed to be free.  The intellect is a prison, a closed structure, a formulated system, in which freedom cannot occur.  You are being invited to come out of this illusion of the ego. You are being invited to simply open.

Davi:  I have occasional moments of passionate emotion in which I perceive what can be, but I have not developed a sustainable drive to break free - it seems, at times, hopeless because I just can't incorporate your advice and insights into each moment of my life. This frustration has become an all to frequent companion that is affecting my confidence in my ability to do the work at all. How can I overcome this nagging self doubt?

Umi: This is the battle of the mind.  There is also an impatience here.  Yes, there are moments when you perceive what can be.  Be with those.  Simply accept that.  Finished.  Give no energy to self-doubt.  This may come up from time to time, but it is simply a strategy for the mind to stay in control.  When it comes up, simply turn away and be in this moment.  And know that there is no need to \"...developed a sustainable drive to break free...\"  Again this is the mind, trying to stay in control.  There is nothing to incorporate.  When you are with an Awaken One, when you are open and saying \"Yes\", the process happens on its on accord.  This work is very simple.  What is difficult is all the struggle to become someone special and the resistance to that which is happening.  All you need, is always given to you, all you want is often not.  Remember Love, Peace and Freedom are your birthright.

Love
Umi