Ian:  How do you deal with abusive people or abrasive people?

Umi:  You don't need to deal with them at all.

Ian:  How about, let's say that they're at work, so you see them every day.  How do you go about that?

Umi:  Just simply accept they are the way they are.  They are simply expressing their pain, their suffering.  That's all aggression is--expressing suffering.  And then they are blaming someone, you, something outside for that.  So it is just because they are unconscious.  They are suffering.  If they were lying on the ground in agony, you would not be upset with them.  But because it is emotional and psychological, it seems to be harder to accept them.  They are just simply in pain.  And it is not possible to change them.  There is nothing to do.  They have the option of going on in their suffering forever.  That is their option.  You see, the way existance works, it supports totally what it is you want.  So if you want to suffer, it will support that.

Phil:  Quite well.

Umi:  But there comes a time when you say, \"I've had enough!\"  And then you say, \"Help!\"  And then existance brings you help--instantly.  So until then, there is nothing you can do about abrasive people, simply accept them.  When they were stoning Mansoor, the sufi mystic-they were stoning him to death.  And he was laughing.  He said, \"You can destroy this body, but you can't touch me.\"  The beautiful thing about a community is you have an opportunity to go really deep into your discomfort and come out the other side in bliss.  When you are continually living with unconscious people, it is much harder.  Because what happens is you forget.  And then you start reacting within their process.  And then you come to satsang, and you get it for a couple of hours, and then you go back, and you react, whereas in a community it is continually there to be remembered.  And then you are in this Buddha field, and there is the energy which makes it possible.  And then if things happen, if things come up which you can't cope with, in the community there is support for you, because the people are more important than the activities.  Whereas in society, the activities are more important than the people.  This community is about what's happening to you.  It is about your awareness.  Remember your discomfort is your creation.  The abusive people are simply doing their thing.  And you have an opportunity to allow, to accept.

Love Umi