Ellen:  I seem to be \"addicted\" to infatuation.  How can I get passed this?

Umi: It is not about getting passed anything. It is about simply seeing the root. As long as you are trimming the branches the root will become stronger. This is about cutting the very root. To cut the root you need to first see the root.

There are two processes going on here.  First the addiction and then the infatuation.

Addiction is the unconscious reaction to a physical or mental stimulus. There is a belief that if this need is fulfilled, then the suffering will go, even if it is temporary. At least there will be a momentary respite. This belief is stronger than any awareness that you may have, but this behavior simply increases your suffering.

So what is the source of this belief. The belief comes from a physical or mental memory of past pleasure. Living with this belief, is living in the dictates of memories. This is living an illusion.

But the real question is, what is the cause of the suffering? All suffering stems from the belief that you are separate from the Whole. As long as this fundamental belief exists in you, there will be suffering. The next question is, how to dissolve this belief? This is the basis of the work that is happening here. Once this belief, that you are separate from the Whole is gone, there is no longer any addiction.

Infatuation is the belief that the other will fulfill some need. But when you pursue the infatuation, you discover that this fulfillment is only temporarily satisfied. And in fact, even then, the other is not the cause of this temporary satisfaction, this temporary satisfaction comes from the illusion created from your belief that this will happen.

Then one day you wake up and say, \"What the hell am I doing? I don't want to be with this person! This person is not making me happy!\"  Well, the honeymoon is over. Because the honeymoon was simply a horny-moon or a flight into fantasy land. But now the mind says, \"Ah, but there is someone else out there, who will fulfill my needs. There is some soul mate, some special person.\" And then: \"There! I see him!\" And the infatuation begins all over again. But once this belief is dissolved, then the game is over, and you are free. Because there is no one out there who will fulfill your needs. Because your needs are not out there. Your needs are inside you. You are experiencing a hole inside you and you desperately want to find a way to fill it. This is the main motivation of most actions. But this experience of a hole comes from the belief that you are separate from the Whole. Dissolving this belief is the basis of this work, and also dissolving all the conditioning and the programming, that society has given you, all that which keeps you enslaved. Because freedom is your birthright. And only out of freedom can love emerge.

Love Umi